The Writer: Fact and Fiction

Fact and Fiction

It’s a lie, it’s a lie…

We can’t end like this…

Come back to me again, please come back to me…

I can’t believe the fact that you are leaving me…

I threw myself on bed, remembering the wedding just earlier. Nothing can describe my heart now the best than regret… yes, I regret myself for not stopping you the time you told me you’ll get married. I regret that I can’t build our relationship better. I regret… that I can’t tell you I Love you.

Now you are no longer next to me…

That is the truth, I don’t want to believe it…

Come back to me, even if I say this many times…

All of this just has to be a lie right now…

You’re so far away now. You’re someone else’s. I just can’t accept this fact. This is just…too painful. Is this true? What was I doing all these time I spent with her? What is…going on?

I don’t know. My mind just goes blank. Everything just feels so wrong and…not true. Is it because I can’t accept the fact that you’re gone? What’s happening? It felt like a dream. Yes, maybe this is just a dream. A really bad dream. Or maybe, I was imagining things for my next stories and got so into it that I just felt like this.

I smiled myself and took a very thick empty book. Yes, I keep this book so that when I got a realy big idea then I’ll write it down here rather in my computer so that I can feel the real thing. I took my pen out and start to write everything that I thought was just my dream.

I can’t forget you, I can’t believe everything…

I can’t send you away…

Today, I’m going to try making our story again…

This way, it won’t end…

I write everything. Yes, everything about us. I just changed the name just a bit. Everything, starting from our meeting back then, our days as a new writer, up ‘till now but with happy feelings. No other characters, just you and me. The two of us…happy in this story.

Right now, here there are only happy stories…

Our happy story is written…

(Different from reality) like this…

It’s getting full…

I don’t know how much time I’ve spent to write this stories. I don’t know when the last time I eat and drink. I don’t know what has happened in the last few days I spent writing this stories. I just feel so into it that I don’t know what has happened.

What  I remembered is my editor came once and said something about this writing is just so delusional or something. I don’t know what is he talking about. It just felt like a dream and everything in this story I write is the truth. Yes, I’m just dreaming. I mean, how can this great story of you and I delusional? It’s the truth, right? It’s about you and me…the two of us….happy together, forever.

Then, suddenly my apartment door opens. There, I saw you coming. Somehow, your face was rather surprised. You approach me and I put on a smile and say hello.

“Edea….you….why’re you like this? What happened?” She asked with a worry look

“What do you mean? I’m fine. I’m very fine actually. Why’re you so worry?” I said caressing her face

It has been a long time. Wait, well, she just got home from her drama shooting right? Well, it maybe just a few hours after she left. But…why does she looks so different? Right, maybe she put on a make up. Silly me. She then look at the book where I write our stories and took it. She examine through all the page one by one.

“It’s a great story right?” I said proudly

She put that book back and suddenly look at me with a very sad look. Her eyes are teary, no, she cries. She cries and suddenly hug me. It’s so warm. But…why’s she crying? Did I do something wrong?

“I’m sorry…” She said “I’m really sorry I made you like this…”

“what….what’re you talking about Tia?”

She pulls away from me and look straight into my eyes. “wake up…” she said “I…I’m someone else’s now. You have to accept that fact. I…We can’t be together.” She continues

I was shocked. Suddenly it just felt strange. I…I know actually from the start. This is my fiction. Yes, I live in my fictional world. I just can’t accept your fact and live in my fiction. Suddenly it all become clear but…it felt so much hurt. Why…why must you wake me up from this dream? I…

“Please, Edea….wake up….I’m not yours…” she said, crying again

“No…” I said “No, you’re lying…you….I…”

I ran away. I don’t know where I was going. I just run away. Run….maybe someone could tell me that this is a dream and she was lying.  I run and run. I don’t know who to ask and where to go. Not caring anything, I run to the middle of the road and the last thing I knew was I fell to the ground and look up at the sky. I can’t move my arm nor legs or body. My vision was blur. I felt so sleepy…maybe…I should close my eyes now. Before I close my eyes, the last thing I saw was your face there and your warm hand on my face. Yes…this…is the fact.

I’m a writer who has forgotten his goal

How should I end this story?

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, just these three words…

 Write it down with the rusty pen tears…

On top of the stained and worn out paper…

This story can’t be sad or happy…

There’s no ending…