The Writer: Fact and Fiction

Fact and Fiction

It’s a lie, it’s a lie…

We can’t end like this…

Come back to me again, please come back to me…

I can’t believe the fact that you are leaving me…

I threw myself on bed, remembering the wedding just earlier. Nothing can describe my heart now the best than regret… yes, I regret myself for not stopping you the time you told me you’ll get married. I regret that I can’t build our relationship better. I regret… that I can’t tell you I Love you.

Now you are no longer next to me…

That is the truth, I don’t want to believe it…

Come back to me, even if I say this many times…

All of this just has to be a lie right now…

You’re so far away now. You’re someone else’s. I just can’t accept this fact. This is just…too painful. Is this true? What was I doing all these time I spent with her? What is…going on?

I don’t know. My mind just goes blank. Everything just feels so wrong and…not true. Is it because I can’t accept the fact that you’re gone? What’s happening? It felt like a dream. Yes, maybe this is just a dream. A really bad dream. Or maybe, I was imagining things for my next stories and got so into it that I just felt like this.

I smiled myself and took a very thick empty book. Yes, I keep this book so that when I got a realy big idea then I’ll write it down here rather in my computer so that I can feel the real thing. I took my pen out and start to write everything that I thought was just my dream.

I can’t forget you, I can’t believe everything…

I can’t send you away…

Today, I’m going to try making our story again…

This way, it won’t end…

I write everything. Yes, everything about us. I just changed the name just a bit. Everything, starting from our meeting back then, our days as a new writer, up ‘till now but with happy feelings. No other characters, just you and me. The two of us…happy in this story.

Right now, here there are only happy stories…

Our happy story is written…

(Different from reality) like this…

It’s getting full…

I don’t know how much time I’ve spent to write this stories. I don’t know when the last time I eat and drink. I don’t know what has happened in the last few days I spent writing this stories. I just feel so into it that I don’t know what has happened.

What  I remembered is my editor came once and said something about this writing is just so delusional or something. I don’t know what is he talking about. It just felt like a dream and everything in this story I write is the truth. Yes, I’m just dreaming. I mean, how can this great story of you and I delusional? It’s the truth, right? It’s about you and me…the two of us….happy together, forever.

Then, suddenly my apartment door opens. There, I saw you coming. Somehow, your face was rather surprised. You approach me and I put on a smile and say hello.

“Edea….you….why’re you like this? What happened?” She asked with a worry look

“What do you mean? I’m fine. I’m very fine actually. Why’re you so worry?” I said caressing her face

It has been a long time. Wait, well, she just got home from her drama shooting right? Well, it maybe just a few hours after she left. But…why does she looks so different? Right, maybe she put on a make up. Silly me. She then look at the book where I write our stories and took it. She examine through all the page one by one.

“It’s a great story right?” I said proudly

She put that book back and suddenly look at me with a very sad look. Her eyes are teary, no, she cries. She cries and suddenly hug me. It’s so warm. But…why’s she crying? Did I do something wrong?

“I’m sorry…” She said “I’m really sorry I made you like this…”

“what….what’re you talking about Tia?”

She pulls away from me and look straight into my eyes. “wake up…” she said “I…I’m someone else’s now. You have to accept that fact. I…We can’t be together.” She continues

I was shocked. Suddenly it just felt strange. I…I know actually from the start. This is my fiction. Yes, I live in my fictional world. I just can’t accept your fact and live in my fiction. Suddenly it all become clear but…it felt so much hurt. Why…why must you wake me up from this dream? I…

“Please, Edea….wake up….I’m not yours…” she said, crying again

“No…” I said “No, you’re lying…you….I…”

I ran away. I don’t know where I was going. I just run away. Run….maybe someone could tell me that this is a dream and she was lying.  I run and run. I don’t know who to ask and where to go. Not caring anything, I run to the middle of the road and the last thing I knew was I fell to the ground and look up at the sky. I can’t move my arm nor legs or body. My vision was blur. I felt so sleepy…maybe…I should close my eyes now. Before I close my eyes, the last thing I saw was your face there and your warm hand on my face. Yes…this…is the fact.

I’m a writer who has forgotten his goal

How should I end this story?

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, just these three words…

 Write it down with the rusty pen tears…

On top of the stained and worn out paper…

This story can’t be sad or happy…

There’s no ending…

The Writer: Why did I fall in love with You

Hi there, well yes, if you feel you've read this story, this is because I really write this story too but with the different version on soshified. this story contains of two parts, "why did I fall in love with you" and "Fact and Fiction" which both I got the inspiration from the K-pop song from Tohoshinki "doushite kimi ni suki ni natte shimattandarou" and Beast "fiction" and "fact"

Why Did I Fall In Love With You

Since the day that I met you...
I felt like I knew you...
We melted together so naturally...

I've been with you since childhood. I remember clearly the day we met. You were there playing with your friends, laughing happily while I who was a transfer student was alone sitting on the swing watching the other children as they play with their groups. It was my first day entering that elementary school and I have a very low capability to blend with others which made me like this.

In that midst of happiness, you spotted me who was alone and came to me. You smiled innocently and grabbed my hand. You draged me to the center of a group of children which you were playing with. You smiled again brightly and took me to play with them without asking who I was and where I from. I enjoyed that innocent time playing with you and your friends until the time had come for them to go home.

The sky had become red but I looked around and my mom hasn't picked me up you who were going to go home spotted me who was sitting alone waiting and come to me again.

“You're not going home?” you asked

“My mom hasn't pick me up.” I answered

“Oh...”

You suddenly sat beside me and and smiled upon me which made me blush a bit

“I'll wait with you.” You said innocently

“Aren't your parents worry?” I asked worrily

She shaked her head and answered, “I often come home late. Besides, my home is near. Oh, I forgot to ask your name. I'm Celestia Aurens, you can call me Tia. You?”

“Edea Syllisya”

“Edea? That's a nice name. Nice to meet you.” She shakes my hand

We waited until my mom picked me up. We chatted as we waited. It's the first time I met you but that time, I already felt a strong connection with you. Finally my mom came breathing heavily, she must've forget me because of her work. She hug me and I said goodbye to Tia.

To my surprise, she was walking to the same direction as mine.

“Whre's your home?” I stopped and ask her

“It's there.” She pointed to a house that's right beside my house

“Oh, so you're our neighbor's daughter. Isn't that nice Edea? Now you can go to school and come back home with her.” My mother said happily

“That's great!” Tia smiled brightly “We'll be together from now on, ok?”

Wherever we would go, together...
Needing you is a natural thing...
The two of us became adults together...

Time passed by, we grew up together and became a really close friend that couldn't be seperated. Just like flowers need water, we completed each other. You're my everything to me, you're my first friend. I want to stay by your side forever and protect you.

I still hadn't notice my feelings yet that time, I was still an innocent child and I only take Tia as my very best friend. Until something had change it.

We became Junior High School student and you suddenly came to me with glowing eyes and wide smile. You showed me a poster of a writing competition held by a famous label that has made many big hits in the book industry.

“Let's try to participate in this!” You said excitedly

I was confused at that time but seeing you smiling so happily like that, I felt like I don't want to turn you down. Without complaining, I said yes to your request and smiled to you. You jumped happily and said many thanks to me.

We finally entered the competition. The two of us work together to make a very wonderful masterpiece. A really great story that no one has ever told.

It was the first time I begun to questioned my own feelings. Why was my heart beating so fast? Why was I so tempted by her move? Why...was my face felt so hot. A few days later we got a letter that says our work is accepted. She was so happy that she suddenly pulls me into a big hug. My heart beat faster and I realize soon...that I actually love her.

Why couldn't I convey to you...
Every day, every night, the thoughts grows...
The words begin to flow...

Years passed and with a lot of effort, tears and sweat, we finally manage to release our first novel. During those times, it was very hard for us since many still hasn't recognize us and we sometimes receive some bad talk. Tia is a fragile one so I often cheer her up whenever difficult times come to us.

We work harder to make people acknowledge us and finally, within a few more months, we had finally gained popularity around the world. We felt like all our hard work had finally paid off. Our books sold millions of copies and has become a big hit. And for Tia...she had grown into a very beautiful girl.

But still, I couldn’t tell her this feeling of mine. I’m afraid that if I tell her, it wouldn’t turn out to be like what I expected. Because…this feeling isn’t right. I’m not allowed to love her yet; I can’t hold my own feeling. She’s very close to me but at the same time, very far away. Tia…what do you think about me? Do you…love me?

Why did I fall in love with you…?
No matter how much time passes…
I thought you would always be here…

All of it suddenly changes. Our togetherness has become loose. It all started when you were suddenly being casted on a TV drama.Well, I myself actually acknowledge it since you do have a great acting talent but just not so lucky to find a job. But…you will be paired with some actor and… I feared that you’d become further from me and fall in love with that guy. I hope…my fear wouldn’t become true.

But you choose a different path…

Every day, we spent less time together while you spent more time with your drama friends. I felt like I’m being left out. Each time you finally got a day off and could be together, you would always talked about how’s your day during the drama filming and also…your actor partner, Clause . I responded with a smile and act as if I was interested in it. But not inside…I wished that you’d stop talking about it and would use that time to be together with me. I miss the days where we would always complete each other and spent our time together anywhere…and everytime. How I would wish that I could go back to those times. It made my chest hurt when I notice that you had change.

Tia…did you love Clause?

Weeks passed and we’re now gathering at the living room in front of the TV to watch the special episode of your drama. I was forced to watch it even though I told you that I was tired. Besides, if I watched it, I’d only felt jealousy and rage and I don’t know whether I could hold it or not. But then, you yourself asked me which I couldn’t deny. So there I was watching that show.

As the show started, the two of us got quiet and paid attention to the TV. I watched you there, walking hand in hand with Clause. I watched you laughed happily with him. I watched you… smiling so brightly as I never seen before. I watched until the end and while you smiled in satisfaction, I faked a smile and went to my room quickly. I slammed my hand to the wall in frustration. I felt worse for feeling like this.

“So you do like him…” I mumbled and threw myself to the bed

And why did I fall in love with you?
We can't go back to how it was…
Can't go back….

Ever since then, now I’m certain that you like him and I put on a distance. Every time you would try to be close with me, I’d always try to evade you. Because if you were by my side, I knew that I couldn’t control myself. Who knows what words I would throw if I lost myself. But you noticed me. You noticed my strange act and one day, you came to me and asked, “Why’re you avoiding me Edea?”

“Avoiding you? No I don’t, that’s just your imagination.” I lied

“Edea….you’re lying aren’t you?” She said in a suspicious tone

“I told you I don’t.” I looked at her. She put on a sad face. I would tell her if I could but I couldn’t. You’d hate me if I told you. It’s better if I don’t tell her.

“…Is that so? Okay then…”

Why didn't I take your hand?...
No matter how much time passes…
You should be at my side forever…
But it didn't come true…

Years passed and we’re now walking in separated ways. You’ve become a great actress and we now often do jobs separated. You acting and I Writing.  Through those years, your relation with Clause grew stronger each day and I was being forgotten. I’ll never stand a chance against him.

Once, you called me to meet you to talk about something. We met near your working place. There was an awkward atmosphere when we met. We just said ‘hello’ to each other and was in silence after that. I couldn’t say a word because we haven’t met for a long time because of our different schedule. Then, you turned around and face me with a serious look on your face.

“Edea I…I’m getting married.” She said

Those words made my heart break into pieces at that moment. But I must get a hold of myself. I then asked, “With whom?” faking that I actually knew who it was

“Clause,”

So my guess is right “Congratulations.” I said

Your face became sad. Why would you be sad when you’re gonna be married to the one that you love? You then took something from your bag and gave it to me. It was the invitation to your wedding. You smiled vainly and said, “You’ll…come, right?”

I nodded. With then, you said goodbye and back to your workplace. I left and just looked at that invitation card. I…wanted to grab her hand and stop her when she said that she’d be marrying. I want to shout that I love her and prevent her from being with Clause. I…don’t want you to leave.

Today will always have a special meaning…
Today the happiness stands on our faces…
You defy God with your beautiful figure…

Here I am, in the church where you’d be having your wedding. We greet each other since we never see each other more often. It’s the day of happiness of yours. The ceremony is just about to start. We sit quietly and follow the wedding ceremony. You entered the hall and walk down the path with your beautiful figure and Clause by your side. That wedding dress you wear…really fits you perfectly.

But I wasn't the one next to you…
And the image of you receiving blessings…
Of that, how could I let go?

You stand there in front of the priest being blessed, saying the wedding vow, and exchange rings. You look so happy that it makes me almost in tears. Maybe…you really meant to be by his side. And I…

We move outside where you walk down the stairs step by step to the wedding car. I stand there watching you as you smile at everyone’s congratulatory. When you walk to the step in front of me, you look at me right in the eyes and pause for a second. I smile at you, letting you go and said, “Congratulation.” and spread the flowers. You look rather surprised but then keep moving on with Clause leaving me here...all by myself...

But still, even if I'm nowhere near you anymore…
I'm praying that you’ll be happy for eternity…
No matter how much that would make me lonely or painful…